Slavery in BDSM - What is it?
In modern Western society the idea of slavery is repugnant - and illegal. And yet there is a strong element of sexual fantasy and eroticism associated with being held captive or enslaved. BDSM players may enact Master (or Mistress) and slave scenarios as a way of expressing the power exchange between Dominant and submissive, in scenes that can include other aspects of BDSM such as bondage, discipline, punishment, service or humiliation. For Doms , or Dommes, and subs that desire a more committed and long-lasting Master-slave relationship, Total Power Exchange - also known as Absolute Power Exchange or 24/7 - may be an option. This involves a commitment to enter into a Master-slave relationship that is long-term, and may include the use of the slave collar, a formal collaring ceremony, and the signing of a slave contract.
Whether it is The Story of O or an old classic like Ben Hur, or the modern epic Gladiator, most people are familiar with images of slavery and are aware of the sexual connotations. For those that find this appealing, there is a way in which they can live out these fantasies - if they truly want to.
What is it?
Slavery has existed and thrived since ancient times, and was an integral part of Roman, Greek, Egyptian, Native American Indian, and Aztec cultures. It was often the economic lynchpin of various societies - and although you might immediately think of the slave traders, this applied equally to those who relied on slave labour to run their households and agricultural empires, like the landowners in the American South and the plantations of Jamaica.
 | A slave can be described as a person who is the property of and completely subject to the whim of another person. | |
Slavery has been associated with sex just as long as it has with cleaning the house or tilling the fields. In ancient Rome it was a common practice for men to keep young male slaves, known as catamites, exclusively for sexual pleasure. During World War II sex slaves were kept in Military Brothels by the Japanese, and were known as 'Comfort Women'. In many eras and different countries, body or bed slaves were kept for the sexual edification of the lord and master, (or the lady of the house!) and for the pleasure of guests.
A slave can be described as a person who is the property of and completely subject to the whim of another person. A slave is a chattel, and may be bought, sold or gifted without their consent; because they are property they may own nothing, decide nothing and choose nothing. They have no power - and therefore no real responsibility.
Within the BDSM community, 'slave' is a sub-set of Dominance and submission, and may be enacted for short periods (the duration of a scene) or may be conducted within the context of a lifestyle D/s relationship. In this kind of relationship (or scene) the dominant is usually referred to as the Master or Mistress, according to whether they are male or female, and the submissive is called slave, or if a gender specific term is used, slave-girl or slave-boy.
Dominants who identify themselves as lifestyle Masters or Mistresses sometimes have a number of 'casual' slaves, or may be involved in a long-term monogamous relationship with one slave, much like a marriage. Slaves usually are called upon to serve and to perform domestic tasks like cleaning, shopping, gardening and so on. They also usually perform personal services for their Owners, including bathing, massage, and other grooming activities including manicures and pedicures, hair washing, drying and styling. Slaves may be granted sexual favours as a reward for good service.
Exactly what constitutes Owner/slave relations and particularly whether it counts as 'lifestyle' is debated even within the BDSM community. Outsiders often view the community as very tightly regulated, being both uniform and united, but it is just as prone to dissent and different interpretations as any other community. Hence, the difficulty in declaring strict guidelines as to what is or is not an authentic Owner/slave relationship and what distinguishes this from an 'ordinary' lifestyle D/s relationship.
Power exchange is at the heart of D/s relations; the difference between lifestyle D/s and what happens in a scene is a matter of degree and duration. In lifestyle D/s the roles of Dom/Domme and sub are constant - one person is always Dominant and the other submissive. These roles may be confined to sexual or erotic activities or they may extend to other aspects of life, like who makes major domestic decisions, who pays the bills, does the housework and picks up the kids from school.
In an Owner/slave relationship, the slave has voluntarily assigned all control to the Dominant, in all situations, in all aspects of their lives, all of the time. Basically, once the submissive chooses to accept the Dominant as their owner, they become a slave, and this is effectively the last decision of their own free will, that they ever get to make.
Consensual slavery is sometimes known by other names: Total Power Exchange (TPE), Internal Enslavement, 24/7/365 or 24/7, or Absolute Power Exchange (APE). Again, even this is a matter for debate; some practitioners feel that most of these other terms more accurately describe a lifestyle D/s relationship rather than that of Owner and slave.
There is a particular type of slave lifestyle relationship that is almost exclusively heterosexual male Master and female slave and is based on the Gor books by John Norman. These incredibly popular pulp Sci-Fi books, set on an earth-like planet beyond our Sun, are currently being reprinted.
What it isn't
The first thing to make clear is that slavery is not a legal practice in most countries. Although, strictly speaking this refers to involuntary, or enforced enslavement, it does have implications for those who enter into a consensual slave relationship. Although the Owner may believe that they 'own' the slave, and the slave accepts that they have abdicated all their rights including the right to leave their Master or Mistress, under current law this is simply not true, and certainly not enforceable. If you are a slave who finds yourself unwilling to abide by the terms of the agreement with your owner, then you are legally entitled to walk out, just as anyone can in any other type of relationship. Your legal responsibilities and rights are the same as anyone who is either married or in a de facto relationship, depending on which legally applies.
An Owner/slave relationship may be illegal (in the strictest sense of the term) but it is also consensual, and the irony is that this almost instantly negates the formal definition of slavery. However, many of us have voluntarily become a slave to something, like fashion, chocolate, fast cars, television, the gym, cigarettes or even, as Bryan Ferry so aptly put it, a 'Slave to Love'. The important point is that regardless of the conventions surrounding an erotic Owner/slave relationship, both parties have entered into the relationship by choice.
| Consensual slavery is not about abuse or assault - or it shouldn't be. | |
Consensual slavery is not about abuse or assault - or it shouldn't be. A considerate and genuine Master will not abuse his slave either mentally or physically; this isn't the aim of the relationship. Although it might sound strange to outsiders, a Master or Mistress and their slave enter into a relationship for the same reasons that any couple do - love, companionship and mutual benefit. Just as no-one should tolerate abuse in a conventional relationship, neither is it appropriate in an Owner/slave relationship. Slavery isn't exactly the same thing as submission, or being a masochist. A masochist is motivated by the desire to receive pain - this is what turns them on. Although some submissives and even some slaves have masochistic tendencies and enjoy pain in some erotic circumstances, they are not necessarily masochists. By the same token, not all submissives want or need to be slaves. Slaves submit absolutely and totally and, theoretically at least, without any limits. In contrast, most submissives have limits and are quite clear about what it is they want the Dom or Top to do to them, and what is off limits. Another thing that slavery isn't: it isn't for everyone. This includes even those who might have fantasised about it. There can be a big difference between imagining that you want to totally surrender your will to someone else, and what this is truly like in real life. Other Parts |  |